Jeff David

Jeff in cartoon form

D.O.B. - 16th September, 1940

Home Town - Cincinnati, Ohio

Profession - Actor

Qualification - Jeff was the announcer in Martin Scorcese's The King of Comedy, Crichton in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and, perhaps more importantly, he was the voice of Captain Majors in The Godzilla Power Hour. Jeff could summon Godzilla and make him fight things.

Jeff Danziger

Liberal Jeff

D.O.B. - 1943

Home Town - New York, New York

Profession - Artist

Qualification - Jeff was in 'Nam. Nowadays, he draws political cartoons, most of which savage the Bush administration (for evidence, see the anthologies Wreckage begins with 'W' and Blood, debt and fears). Jeff was included in Bernard Goldberg's list of 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America, an honour also bestowed upon Michael Moore, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Noam Chomsky and Norman Mailer, and, somewhat inexplicably, Harry Belafonte. Maybe he just really hates The Banana Boat Song.

Jeff Daniels

Jeff

D.O.B. - 19th February, 1955

Home Town - Chelsea, Michigan

Profession - Actor

Qualification - Jeff first came to our attention in Terms of Endearment and the Woody Allen films The Purple Rose of Cairo and Radio Days. He became a star with the release of Arachnophobia in 1990 before going off in a completely different direction in Speed and Dumb & Dumber where he had explosive diarrhoea. Jeff has since starred in Pleasantville, Gods & Generals, The Squid and the Whale, Good Night, and Good Luck and My Favorite Martian. If you've seen My Favorite Martian, you'll know that Jeff and Christopher Lloyd are the only good things about it. That's pretty harsh criticism considering I like bad movies. I like You've Got Mail for craps sake.

Jeff Cross

Jeff on the right

D.O.B - 25th March, 1966

Home Town - Riverside, California

Profession - Football Player (the one with your hands)

Qualification - Jeff played Defensive end for the Miami Dolphins from 1988 to 1995 and is a very beefy man, he's 6' 4" and he could squash you with any of his appendages, pick your destiny. Jeff also appeared, as himself, in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Jeff Cotler

Young Jeff

D.O.B. - 20th November, 1967

Profession - Actor

Qualification - Played a character named Jeff in a single episode of Mork & Mindy. This might not sound like much but picture the scene, you're a young man, a very young man, and a very hairy, and noticeably coked-up Robin Williams is making a series of loud, unintelligable noises. Do you cry? Or just shit your pants? Well Jeff just stood his ground. That's worthy of acclaim.