The Book of Jeff: Prologue

As you make your way through life, you will come across people of many names. You may become friends with a Pete or a John and you may think to yourself 'If Pete's name were Jeff, would it make any difference?' If you have to ask this question, you are a fool. Of course it would make a difference. You would spend hours of your life just saying his name to yourself. If, however, your ask yourself 'If my name were Jeff, would my life be changed infinitely for the better?', you are not a fool. True, the answer is obvious, but, in simply asking yourself that question, you are taking the first step on an important journey.

It is with this journey in mind that I bring you the definitive list of the greatest Jeffs born to date. Arranged and cross referenced for your greater understanding, you can now marvel, in your own home, at how Jeffs can overcome their facial disabilities and unfortunate stations in life to propel themselves to the pinnacles of their chosen careers. Notice how other celebrities secretly rely on the knowledge of a Jeff to guide them through life.

Read and enjoy. Then contemplate your life.

Then go out and change your name.